Just Say No To Wedding Day Drama!

The time from the moment you decide to tie the knot, until the very last moments of your honeymoon,  should be a joy filled, fun, exciting and memorable era for you and your fiance! 

But wedding planning can get a little complicated, when you or your fiance come from a family with divorced parents, separated parents or blended families. Which could mean that engaged couples may also need to navigate an emotionally charged landscape of unspoken rules, misunderstandings, or hurt feelings. This can add a lot of tension to an already emotional time!

The reality is, that in many couples these days, one, or both parties, have divorced parents, bonus parents and likely step Brothers and Sisters to consider. And, seeing as some couples may not have separated or divorced on good terms, there could be calls for increased sensitivity, diplomacy and boundaries during the wedding planning process.

Whether parents have separated recently or have been apart for many years (or decades), your wedding, your loving relationship and your upcoming nuptials can bring up a lot of strong, and at times unresolved, emotions. And, these feelings might take everyone by surprise in their strength!

It’s no wonder that wedding planning and trying to make your divorced or separated parents feel included can feel like it creates a lot of added pressure on you. It does! But, we’ve come up with a few ways to help take the pressure off!

Set and Share your Expectations Early!

Cutting through the (often) complex dynamics that exist between divorced, separated or remarried parents requires forward thinking, along with a big dose of sensitivity/tack! 

To that end, when people are surprised or put on the spot, they’re much more likely to bring unproductive/unhelpful emotions/ideas out in the open, especially when it comes to a grand, formal (and highly emotional) occasion like a wedding. 

The key is sidestepping that, is to be upfront with everyone as early as possible, meaning:

– Keep tensions low by communicating your expectations openly and honestly to your parents and your wedding planner (if you have one) at the start of the wedding planning process, or even include it in the phone call announcing your engagement.  

– Talk individually with all of your parents and step parents and be upfront about your hopes and plans for them on your big day. 

– Do not, in any circumstance, spring things on them in a group setting or with their ex-spouse in attendance. Do not put them on the spot!

– Give a heads-up/parent primer to your fiance, bridesmaids, wedding party, siblings, and other key family members. If you do that, they will likely be able to help to make uncomfortable situations a little more bearable in the leadup to your wedding, and on the big day.

– Also take some time to think about all of  the pre-wedding gatherings and their impacts too. Things like engagement parties, the hens/buck’s night, bridal shower, as well as wedding dress shopping are other times and occasions you may need to consider the emotional impact of including (or excluding) one parent/step parent might have on the other.

Give Everyone Something to Contribute

People can be so strange! If they feel that you’ve given them too much responsibility, they’re likely to be unhappy, but on the flip side, if you don’t give them enough responsibility, they’ll often feel that their contributions are unimportant or the relationship is not valued in the way they would like it to be.

So, please take time to consider parents that are not going to be included in the ceremony entrance or processional, make sure to give them some opportunities to help with different, but equally important jobs and try to include your step-parents too, if applicable/possible!

There’s lots of opportunity to help everyone feel included: From readings during the ceremony to toasts at your wedding reception, to helping set-up decor before the celebration, ask your parents and step-parents to help with tasks that make them feel both involved and valued during the leadup to and on your actual wedding day. 

It might seem like more work for you, but it will pay off in a big way!

Be Strategic With Seating

Allocating specific seats for (at least) your immediate families, from the ceremony right up to the reception, means that: 

– Everyone will know where they need to be.

– No one will waste time/energy trying to second-guess what you want.

– Uncomfortable/problematic interactions are minimized or avoided altogether!

– Everyone’s anxiety and sense of authority will be kept in check.

Bottom line: The less problematic contacts need to interact, the less there’ll be to worry about.

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Including Cultural Traditions in Your Wedding

So much of what we think of when we think of weddings, is based on our community, culture or country of origin, and of course, it is further influenced by what we see in mainstream movies, media and now, social media.

That being said, what if any wedding traditions do you and your sweetheart plan to embrace on your big day? Will your wedding include ways to honor your cultural heritage, either shared or different? And, how can this be done in a way that feels sincere and meaningful even if embracing your heritage and culture is new to you?

After all, wedding traditions tend to have a long history so it’s important to research the nuances of the traditions you would like to include, because most customs have a specific purpose, and you don’t want to be unintentionally disrespectful to the culture!

The best source of information is, of course, your family and your future in-laws. Talk to them about their/your culture and heritage in order to more fully understand the how, and why of the way weddings are traditionally celebrated in your family.

There are so many ways to say “I do!” and “I love you!” in the world, and we think that’s amazing! So, while you decide if embracing cultural traditions at your wedding is right for you, here is a very small sample of incredible wedding traditions from around the world!

Nigeria

When it comes to Nigerian weddings, they are definitely not a one-size-fits-all celebration! There are an estimated 371 tribes in all of Nigeria, and each tribe has unique and meaningful traditions, unique to them. But there are a few traditions that are common across the majority of Nigerian weddings. Some of those include traditional attire like aso-ebi (the word aso in Yoruba means cloth and ebi denotes family, so by extension, Aso-ebi means family cloth, and is usually worn during memorials and ceremonies, not unlike clan tartans in Scotland and Ireland), and gele ( a woman’s head wrap which can be as simple as a scarf, or bandana, or as elaborate as the train of a peacock). 

Another Nigerian wedding tradition is the money spray at the reception, and symbolizes showering happiness, good fortune, and affection on the couple. During the Money Spray, the couple are ushered into the room and dance behind the wedding party, while the guests encircle the couple and come forward, placing bills on the couple’s forehead, thus allowing the money and good fortune to “rain down” on the Bride and Groom.

France

At French weddings it’s quite uncommon to see bridesmaids and groomsmen as part of the event. In France, weddings are more about bringing together two families, rather than solely centered around the bride and groom. So, though a couple may have many close friends in attendance, they are there just to enjoy the day, and not play an official role; in fact, in France is is considered proper etiquette to let both sets of parents know about the engagement and spend some time together before announcing to the rest of your circle. 

Then comes the food! It should really come as no surprise, when talking about French weddings, but food is of utmost importance at French celebrations. And, if you’re thinking of hosting a very formal affair, consider a truly French meal served mise en place, meaning, everything in its place. For meals served mise en place, each course is served, in proper order meaning: appetizer, soup, main course, palate-cleansing sorbet, salad, cheese, dessert and coffee, and a cordial, which is indeed quite an undertaking and would require a French trained chef or restaurant to pull off!

China

The wedding traditions practiced in China and at Chinese weddings mainly deal with bringing good luck and fortune to the marriage while also honoring and paying respect to their elders and ancestors. And it all starts with the date of the wedding. The Wedding date is of utmost importance, and you’re unlikely to see many Chinese weddings in what are considered the unlucky months of March, July and September. 

When it comes to the wedding day, the color red and the double-happiness symbol are both considered lucky and are often threaded throughout much of a Chinese wedding as a way of bringing luck and good fortune to the newlyweds. Chinese weddings also often include a tea ceremony; during which the couple will serve tea to their parents as a sign of honor, deep gratitude and respect, and parents generally reciprocate with red envelopes with money as a wedding present, to start their new lives together as a married couple. 

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Making the Most Out of Your Photo Booth Guestbook

So you’ve booked a photo booth for your wedding day! Well we think that’s fantastic! And, you’re planning on using your photo booth prints as part of your wedding guestbook! Well, that’s even better!

So, how do you make the most of it, and not end up with just a few pages of photos, with simple signatures beside them?! Keep reading to find out!

Start Your Photo Booth Early in Your Celebration

If you’re planning on creating a wedding guest book to go along with your photo booth experience, the best thing you can do is start early! We recommend starting the photo booth booking to coincide with cocktail hour, so that you can get guests to leave their messages and words of wisdom before they’ve had too much ‘cheer’! It will also give your older guests and your youngest guests a chance to get in there and get a photo early, as they may not stay late and dance the night away.

Create Guest Book Signage

If you want your guests to engage with the photo guest book process, you want to make it clear what you’re expecting. What better way to do that than with clear signage on your photo guestbook table? It can be as simple as “Photo Guestbook: Please take a photo, then leave your wisdom and advice in our guestbook!” And, be sure to provide more than enough pens, and easy to use photo glue or adhesive. Trust us when we say that elaborate photo corners, tiny glue dot fasteners and other specialized scrapbook notions, will frustrate most of your wedding guests, so we recommend easy dispensing tape style adhesive.

Talk To Your Booth Attendant About It

Make sure you take a moment to express, to your photo booth attendant (and planner or day off coordinator), just how much you’re looking forward to getting your guest book at the end of the night! It will likely have been discussed during the initial consultation, and throughout the booking process, but a little reinforcement never hurts! You can also enlist the help of your family and bridal party with this task. Whenever they are in the photo booth, they can make mention of your photo guest book and encourage your other guests to take a look and contribute to it!

Have Your DJ And Master of Ceremonies Announce It!

One of the most effective things you can do is to have your Master of Ceremonies announce it during dinner and before speeches, along with a little blurb about why it’s important to you. You can further drive the message home by having your DJ announce it before your first dance and again an hour before the end of your photo booth booking time. And, if you really want to drive home the point, you can mention it yourselves during your first speech as newlyweds!

Give Honored Guests Some Time And Space

Sometimes it can feel a bit high pressure to come up with heartfelt messages and words of wisdom to the newlyweds right on the spot! And, your older guests might prefer to sit down and have a moment to think before coining their messages. So, be sure that Grandma, Grandpa and all the Aunts and Uncles get their uninterrupted chance to sign the photo guestbook. The attendant can even offer for them to take it to their table and deliver it back when they’re done. This will also be important to any guests that require mobility aids and physical accommodations, as they might not physically be able to lean over a table and fill out the book. So, it’s best to let them get situated somewhere they’re comfortable while they sign the guestbook.

Final note… If you use some (or all) of these tips during your wedding, we’re sure you will end up with a photo booth guest book that will totally knock your socks off! And, in our experience,  it will only appreciate in value over time, so some extra effort is definitely warranted, to capture the spirit and fun of your wedding day!

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Happy Holidays from all of us at Beat Train!! . . 📸: @down2trip

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How to Honor Your Mom at Your Wedding

We know that this day is mostly about you and your new spouse, we feel it’s important to pay respect to one of the people you literally would be here without! Your Mom! Chances are that she’s been thinking about this day for a long time. 

So, whether you’ve designed every detail for your big day with her by your side, or want her to be just as surprised as your guests when she walks into your reception, it’s a big day for her, too. And while moments like walking down the aisle and first dances are often designed with dad in mind (though that is slowly changing) we think that mom deserves a little special recognition of her own, too!

Surprise Her With a Gift

A small token of your love along with a heartfelt card or letter is a great way to acknowledge everything she’s done for you while commemorating your wedding day. You could pick out an accessory to go with her wedding attire, or something you know she’ll wear every day. Alternatively, you could treat her (and yourself) to a mother-daughter spa day or weekend getaway (just the two of you) so the two of you can recover together and process this new chapter in both of your lives, after all the wedding day excitement winds down.

Plan a Mother-Daughter Dance

I know that a father-daughter dance is traditional, but how about shaking up that tradition a bit and including a Mother-Daughter dance! Be sure to pick a song the two of you love… maybe that Guns and Roses classic you grew up dancing around the kitchen to, or maybe something more poignant and heartfelt. Whatever you choose,start off just the two of you, then invite the rest of the mothers and daughters to join in.

Borrow Something From Her Wedding Day

Carrying something of your mom’s with you down the aisle is a sweet way to show that you’ll always be close to her. You could wear her wedding veil, use maybe the same pin to fasten the ribbons on your bouquet, tuck her handkerchief in near your heart for drying your tears during your ceremony, or slip her wedding band onto your right hand for the ceremony. And, be sure to get photos of the event, so you can always remember. 

Use Her Favorite Flowers

Does your mom love lisianthus? Is her garden absolutely full of peonies? Whatever her favorite flower may be, you could include a few blossoms in your bouquet, or, if the theme or budget allows, throughout your wedding décor. If you can, be sure to use them in her corsage, too!

Thank Her in a Speech

It’s customary for brides to give a speech or toast at their reception. So, a good idea is to shout out your mom upfront, thanking her for all she’s done for you throughout your life and for helping bring your dream wedding to fruition. This is absolutely the perfect time to recall touching anecdotes and express gratitude for her guidance and support over the years. You can plan to include this as part of your newlywed speech, which typically takes place at the very beginning or end of the reception.

Even as modern weddings take increasingly non-conventional routes, the odds are that your mom has at least one (or two) traditions she’d love to see you incorporate into your wedding day. If there’s a particular wedding tradition that is customary to your culture, you might want to consider including it in your ceremony, pre-ceremony festivities or during the reception. Whatever your background, integrating your family’s and culture’s cherished traditions is a great way to show you Mom (and lineage) respect on your wedding day.

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Creating an Unforgettable Grand Entrance

So… you’ve said your “I do’s,” you’ve signed the official paperwork, and your ceremony has come to a close, now it’s time to party! While your ceremony is every bit as important (many would say, the most important), your wedding reception is where you get to let loose and celebrate your nuptials in whatever way you so choose!

So, whether you and your fiancé are planning a cocktail style reception, a fancy sit-down dinner, or maybe even a beach party, making your grand entrance will help to set the tone for your celebration and can help get your guests in the mood to party!

To that end… are you and your new spouse hoping to make an over-the-top, surprising, jaw-dropping entrance, or are you planning something a little simpler, traditional or meaningful? No matter what you decide to do, and what your comfort level is, there are lots of options, the only limit is your imagination! After all, this is going to be your first introduction as a married couple. Why not make it a little extra special? Here’s a few ideas for inspiration!

Start The Reception With Dancing!

You can have your DJ or MC announce your grand entrance, and play one of your favorite ‘get-the-party-started’ dance songs! For extra wow-factor, you could even choreograph a little dance for you and your bridal party! If you’re always ready to bust a move and shake your groove thang, then this option may be for you! 

Reception Dance Train! All Aboard!

Maybe you want to enter the room with your bridal party conga line style! You could create a winding path through the room, picking up all of the guests along the way! The Conga line will be over when every guest is up! Then once everyone is on the dance floor, your DJ or MC can officially introduce you as a married couple, to the huge cheers and applause of your guests! And, what a photo worthy moment!

Mariachi Time! Or, Marching Band!

Whether you are planning a destination wedding and want to embrace the local culture, you want to celebrate and embrace your heritage or that of your new spouse, or you simply love mariachi music, you’re sure to bring the party with this grand entrance! Or maybe you want to enlist some members of a local marching band to lead you into the room! Or maybe a Bagpiper! The sky’s the limit with this musical grand entrance idea!

Descend as Newlyweds!

If your reception space has a beautiful staircase, be sure to utilize it! You can dress them up with overflowing bouquets, greenery or flameless candles, or keep things simple if you prefer, so that you and your new spouse are the main focus. Either way, a grand entrance down a grand staircase is sure to draw all eyes to the two of you as you enter the venue for the first time as a married couple. You’re sure to feel like the romantic leads in your very own romcom! Just go slowly and practice a couple of times during your site visits!

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Writing Simple Heartfelt Wedding Vows

Choosing to write your own wedding vows is a beautiful way to personalize your big day. However, when the time comes to actually put pen to paper, you might find yourself feeling stumped! And, if you start googling, you’ll find so many ways you can go about this task that you might feel even more intimidated by all the advice. Luckily, we have a few of the answers…In this short guide, we’ll show you a simple but impactful approach to writing your own wedding vows. 

Simple Wedding Vow Guidelines

Start with ‘I love you’

Let’s start with the basics. Before you delve into the vows, you need to tell your partner that you love them and show how much you care. This part of your wedding vows may be somewhat emotional. Don’t forget those three little words.

Explain how your partner has changed you 

When someone important comes into your life, they change you. They teach you things you never knew about yourself or, on a more practical level, share new skills with you. Take a moment to consider what your partner has done to open up your world and thank them for it. Draw upon your differences, but state them as strengths you can both use to move forward in your newlywed life together.

Give a personal anecdote

Your wedding vows should be as wonderfully unique as your romantic relationship, so make things a little personal. You might want to tell a sweet (but short) story about how you met or speak about what makes your relationship unique. You don’t have to talk about the big things here. Instead, you can draw upon the everyday quirks that you love. Show that you notice and embrace the small idiosyncrasies that make your partner uniquely them!

Make realistic promises

At the heart of this speech are the lifelong promises you make to your partner. While you should vow to love, honor, and cherish them, there’s room to make these promises more grounded in your daily lives, too. For example, you might want to say that you will always watch a certain TV show with them or that you will always support their favorite football team. Adding a sense of realism to your vows makes them more meaningful. This makes your vows a set of daily actions, instead of lofty, undefined ideals.

Thank them and look to the future 

Finally, you’re going to want to thank your partner for being who they are and loving you unconditionally. But, within that you may also want to close your vows with a look toward your future lives together. Consider how your wedded life may look and talk about any hopes or dreams that you have for the two of you.

Start writing early 

You might think you have all the time in the world to write your vows, but may want to think again! This sentimental task will most likely take longer than you expect, so give yourself as much time as possible by starting early. Remember, you don’t have to write the whole thing in one go, and you certainly don’t want to rush through them! You can keep coming back to your vows until you get them right.

Practice!

Finally, it’s time to get some practice. The first time you read your vows shouldn’t be at your wedding. You can recite the vows in front of the mirror, use your wedding party as a practice audience, or record yourself saying them. Keep going until you know them by heart, but also feel free to bring notecards with you, if that reduces your nerves!

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