Classic Cheeky Wedding Toasts to Enliven Traditional Speeches

So… you’re extra special to the “soon-to-be-wed’s,” and now you’ve been asked to give a wedding toast! First off: Congrats! It’s clear that you mean a great deal to the couple, and not just that, they trust you to get up there and speak on their behalf in front of all of their very nearest and dearest! Gulp! No pressure or anything! 

The most important thing to know about wedding speeches is that the very best ones are both heartfelt and humorous, and possibly the most important thing is that they don’t run on too long! While you might want to do a dive deep into your own memories of and feelings about the couple for the heartfelt bits, zingers and jokes don’t necessarily come naturally to all of us.

So, to help you out in the laughs department, we’ve collected some of our favorite funny wedding toasts and marriage quotes we’ve come across in the MANY weddings we have attended! Feel free to borrow them with great abandon, mix them up as needed, and add a little spark of you to them! 

And, remember, a long winded heartfelt tribute works way better recorded in the wedding card, than it does in front of the whole reception, who might not be in on all the inside jokes and stories you share with the couple.

Cheeky Wedding Toasts And Quotes To Add To Your Wedding Speech

“We are gathered here today to honor something so truly magical, so truly unique and wonderful, that it simply had to be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the doughnut wall.” (You could also insert slider bar, open bar, sushi station, ect.)

“Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid their problems sound to you.” – Megan Mullally

“Saying ‘I do’ at your wedding is like clicking the ‘I accept’ box any time a new piece of software on your computer or phone asks you to read its terms and conditions: You do it despite having no idea what will come next, but you’re willing to give it a go! So… Congratulations on your marriage, and fine print is for chumps!”

“We are all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love.” – Dr. Seuss

“May your children be blessed with rich parents.”

“To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” – Ogden Nash

“May all of your ups and downs be only on rollercoasters and in the bedroom.”

“The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.” – Mac MacGuff in Juno

“As Bill and Ted once said: ‘Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.”

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

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Love It Or Leave It! Rethinking Wedding Day Traditions

When it comes to weddings, we know that they come with a lot of expectations, cultural traditions, and family traditions, but ultimately you and your fiancé are the ones who get to decide what you’re going to embrace, and what to do without! Let’s explore some of the conventional wedding day traditions, as well as the modern interpretations of them.

Because, when it comes down to it, it’s of the utmost importance to ensure your big day is truly reflective of who you and your partner are and the values you share as a couple. We don’t believe you should do things just because they’ve been done in the past, so it’s a good idea to explore your ideas and expectations of wedding traditions as a couple, to see how you both feel, then only do the traditions that are a 100% yes for both of you!

Nice Day For A White Wedding?!

Traditional white wedding dresses can be downright gorgeous, but they don’t have to be everyone’s cup of tea! So, if you want to wear an emerald lace gown, a glittery pink pantsuit, or a blue velvet tuxedo, who says that you can’t?! And, why would you listen to them anyway? We personally feel that you should put on whatever will make you feel like the star of the show (since you are, after all)  and reflect the magnificence that is the two of you!

Do You WANT To Have A Bridal Party?

Apparently, if we go way, way back, Roman law used to state that ten witnesses needed to be present at a wedding. So, that’s where the tradition of having a bridal party is said to have originated, but if it’s not your thing, that’s okay too! Ancient Rome shouldn’t be calling the shots on your big day! So, if you have concerns about hurting feelings by choosing one friend over another, or you just really don’t want to have a bridal party, then feel free to skip it! The choice is ultimately yours. And, if you’ve always wanted a bridal party  – maybe even a huge one – they don’t necessarily have to wear matching outfits, if you don’t want them too! Sometimes it might not feel like it, but you and your sweetheart and free to do whatever works best for you!

Subtle?! Nah! How About Making A Statement!

So many brides are advised to avoid large statement jewelry and bright & bold red lips, all under the guise of ‘less is more’, but maybe lean towards being more of a maximalist than a minimalist. If that describes you, embrace it, chances are that the people coming to your wedding will already understand that about you! So, wear that bold necklace if it sparks joy, rock those chandelier earrings if they make you feel yourself, and don that five alarm red for your lips and nails if that’s your vibe! The most important thing about your wardrobe for the day (and every day)  is that it truly feels like you! So, if you like Subtle and subdued, go for it! But, if you prefer bold, bright and over the top, embrace it! 

All The Single Ladies?! Or Fellas?

If the thought of getting your single friends to line up to catch the bouquet or garter makes you uncomfortable, or feel outdated to you feel free to tell your DJ to skip it! Another choice is to offer up your wedding bouquet (or one custom made for this purpose) to the couple at your wedding who has been married the longest. Or you could do something altogether different, and give the bouquet to your parents or new in-laws, taking a moment to recognize all they’ve done to get the two of you to this special day. And, if you think that bouquet and garter tosses are awesome, and one of the highlights of a wedding reception then embrace it fully, or make it an even more elaborate event with a choreographed dance or skit! The choice is yours!

Do You Need 12 Bone China Plate Settings?

Many modern couples no longer have the desire to ask for “traditional” gifts like casserole dishes, towels and fine china. After all, many couples live together long before the wedding, and if they don’t already live together, they’ll often end up having two of everything when they merge their households!  That makes for a whole lot of ‘stuff’! So, if you don’t feel like you need more ‘stuff’ alternative gifts could include charitable registries where you denote a specific cause (or causes) you support and make a large donation after your wedding, or maybe requesting the gift of experiences and asking for date night ideas sounds good to you, or maybe what would help most is a beautiful card with cash that can be used towards your wedding, or to start your new life together. But, really, if you have your heart set on a 12 place setting of gorgeous bone china, then do it! After all, it’s your big day!

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3 Gorgeous Garden Wedding Venues Around NYC

 

Have you and your fiancé always dreamed of getting married amongst lush gardens, gorgeous green backdrops, stunning vistas and rolling manicured lawns, but don’t want to travel deep into the country? Is a rustic-chic barn wedding the vibe you’re after, and want it all within an hour’s drive from the city? 

If the answer to either of these questions is a resounding yes, then keep reading, as we have some real gems to share! So, without further ado, here are some positively lush garden wedding venues to consider in the vicinity of NYC!

Glenmere Mansion

Wow! Just Wow! Offering 150 beautiful and secluded acres of rolling lawns, sweeping vistas, formal manicured gardens and of course a magnificent mansion, Glenmere Mansion can make your wedding day dreams come true! The property was originally used as the country retreat of industrialist Robert Goelet and the mansion – 35-room Tuscan villa – was built in 1911 and has hosted tented weddings for up to 350 in the Meadow. The mansion also has 15 suites available on-site for your closest wedding guests!

And, if the day isn’t enough, the mansion can also be rented out for the entire weekend, as a private country estate for an even more intimate and exclusive event! But, no matter the celebration size, the common denominator at the Glenmere Mansion is ultra-luxe. After all, the Mansion boasts a full-service spa, Turkish baths, a helicopter landing pad for guests, an outdoor heated swimming pool, large whirlpool spa, fitness center, 2 har-tru tennis courts, 2 har-tru bocce courts, and even a championship croquet court! And, with all that, Glenmere is still just a 50-mile hop, skip, and a jump from Manhattan.

Blue Hill At Stone Barns

For over 13 years, Blue Hill has cultivated a reputation in the NYC area for refined farm-to-table cuisine, generous hospitality, as well as elegant design; both at its NYC restaurant as well as at Blue Hill at Stone Barns, located in Tarrytown, NYC. At Blue Hill at Stone Barns, their Pocantico Hills farm-to-table restaurant includes two separate dining spaces: a 14-seat dining room (with a reservation calendar rivaling even the most sought after city spots), as well as the elegant Hay Loft space, which can host weddings of up to 260 guests.

So, if you and your sweetheart are big foodies, you can rest assured that no epicurean detail will be overlooked at Blue Hill at Stone Barns! The culinary team will make your reception meal a celebration unto itself. And, as a bonus, they produce their own delectable gourmet products that would be perfect to give as favors at your wedding. They offer everything from cookies, cakes, gourmet popcorn, maple syrup, jams, spices, nut mixes, as well as offering things like soaps, candles, locally roasted coffee and mugs! 

Buttermilk Falls Inn + Spa

Buttermilk Falls Inn + Spa is a private retreat, located just 75 short miles from NYC. It’s the perfect fit for couples who love the warmth of a rustic-chic wedding, but don’t want to travel deep into the countryside for it! 

At Buttermilk Fall Inn couples can choose to host their ceremony or reception outdoors on the open grounds, under a gorgeous giant tent w/ stone patio or they can choose to host their celebration at the barn at Buttermilk. The Barn is a versatile space, and is able to be transformed into the epitome of country elegance for up to 90 guests, if that’s the vibe you’re after.

Buttermilk Inn also boasts 10 well appointed guest rooms, as well as 8 unique private houses and cottages. All together, Buttermilk Inn can comfortably sleep 50 wedding guests, as well as offering a state-of-the-art spa and enclosed pool, which would be perfect for pampering the bridal party before the wedding. 

And, while Buttermilk can easily host up to 200 guests for weddings, many couples have also held intimate celebrations of about 50 guests. The verdict is that, no matter the size of your celebration, Buttermilk Falls Inn + Spa will do right by you!

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The Worst Wedding Advice, And How to Sidestep It!

There is certainly no shortage of wedding planning advice out there, so much so that it can actually be totally overwhelming or cause decision paralysis. And, I know that this article also falls under that umbrella, but one advantage we have is the sheer number of weddings we’re a part of! When we say, “We’ve seen it all!” we really mean, we’ve seen it ALL! 

So with that in mind, here’s some of the worst wedding advice we’ve seen, and the drama that can ensue because of it! 

Every Detail Needs To Be Perfect!

We get it! Your wedding day is a huge deal, and you can literally spend YEARS planning it, but it’s important to remember that it’s only one day in the rest of your lives together! You can spend countless hours agonizing over every single detail, so much so that you can lose all sense of time and deep dive into a Pinterest wedding rabbit hole for months on end, but in the end your wedding day really will whizz by just like any other. Sorry to sound tragic, but it’s true.

So, wedding planning stress is getting to you, it might help to take a step back and remember that it’s just one day! Remind yourself to breathe deeply (frequently), and take it all as it comes. In the end your guests will remember the great time they had, not the chair covers, centerpieces of your wedding manicure.

DIY Is The Way To Go!

The biggest myth or misunderstanding we see with this is that DIY-ing your wedding will save you tons of money! In our experience, this is not necessarily true! After all,  supplies cost money, sometimes more than you’d bargained for. Also, trial and error costs money and oftentimes frustration! And, labor costs you…valuable time, if not also money. So, be sure to thoroughly assess the costs of both hiring a professional vendor or DIY-ing the items on your wedding checklist before you commit one way or the other, and remember, expertise and experience is an intangible factor in the cost of wedding services. That being said, always get quotes from at least 3 (well reviewed and reputable) vendors when assessing the costs of any wedding service in your area. As a final note, know that if you do choose to DIY some of the big items like flowers, or even food (yikes), while you may save money, you’re sacrificing valuable time with all your friends and family, and you might be adding unnecessary frustration to an already high emotional stakes time.

You Can’t Do ______, It’s So Last Season

When we see this advice, it usually originates from some snarky wedding trend list that “boldly” declares that certain wedding trends are “so over”, but you know what? A huge majority of the people attending your wedding aren’t likely to be wedding bloggers or professional wedding industry types, so whatever idea has been deemed “so over” is likely to still be novel to them! So, even if it seems like every couple in your circle is getting married this year, the majority of them don’t actually go to a lot of weddings on an annual basis. And, even if they do, they will most likely be delighted by whatever you decide to do! And, one last point… even if the wedding industry types have declared something “so over”, it’s your day and not theirs! Your opinion matters most!

Save Money By Not Hiring a Photographer!

All we can say is YIKES!! This is a monumentally bad idea! Photography is after all the closest we come to time travel, and your wedding photos will continue to appreciate in emotional value over time! 

Since one of the only things you’ll have after the big day is done are the photos, we strongly recommend hiring a professional to capture your big day! While we know that there are apps and websites that do allow your guests to post all their photos into one convenient web location, are those actually the photos you want to commemorate your special day? Forever? Sounds like wedding Russian roulette to us! You definitely don’t just want a collection of poorly cropped, dimly lit photos to remember your wedding, and you really don’t want all your guests snapping away during your big moments! We believe that it’s one area of your budget that might warrant spending a little more! 

After all, you’ve spent countless hours making sure your wedding is a beautiful reflection of you as a couple, give yourself the gift of a professional wedding photographer!

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